Welcome back to a 3C Saturday: Coffee, Coke* & Cake. I am trying to combat my post-run fatigue with sugar and caffeine… with limited traction so far. But that shall not stop us from attempting to write this week’s blog.
It’s inspired by a conversation I had with an athlete years ago. I was supporting them on their journey back to full fitness and health after a significant break from sport. As we were talking, the athletes found themselves going in circles of ‘I really want to do this, I want to get to the Paris Olympics’, ‘I don’t know if I can do it’, ‘What if I can’t?, ‘If I do it, I will need this… this… and this…’, ‘But what if it still doesn’t work?’ and ‘What if i find out later that I did the wrong thing?’ … ‘Though, if it works out, it would be amazing…’
While this example is specific to sport, I don’t think these sorts of thoughts and considerations are. Many of us go through processes like these when considering whether we should fully commit to pursuing a goal. We think about how cool it would be to achieve the goal, be it, as in this case, to make it to the 2024 Olympics, or to set a record, to master a new skill, to learn a language, to get a job you want, to write a book, record an album or to build a business.
Where there is ambition, there is also doubt. I don’t think the two come separately - they are just different sides of the same coin, especially if your ambition scares you a little bit; if what you think would be cool to achieve or create could, in fact, fail.
After several rounds of going in circles, I said to them, ‘Give yourself a chance.’
Just that.
I didn’t realise the impact it had in that moment, but over the following weeks, especially, we kept coming back to this phrase. The athlete said, ‘I can’t forget what you said to me. Give yourself a chance.’ Somehow, that had resonated. And so we used it. Slowly, but consistently, we put together a plan of what ‘giving yourself a chance’ would actually look like.
We discussed that not starting now was accepting defeat and likely regretting never trying it properly. And we also decided that there was plenty of time to give up later. But no better time than now to start.
From this perspective, we started planning:
What does giving yourself a chance look like today?
What would you need to do today to keep the option open to make it?
What would you need to stop doing today to keep the option open to make it?
What is the smallest thing you can get done today, after you leave this conversation, that will keep the possibility open?
Who can help us? Who can help you?
What would we need from those people? How can we be super clear?
Over the next few months, the athlete used this sentence repeatedly whenever doubt crept in. It served as a reminder that all we were doing was keep 'making it to the Olympics' a real possibility - whether or not it would actually work remained to be seen, and quitting was always an option we could consider tomorrow.
This got us through a good chunk of the rebuild training to a base-level of Olympian fitness (which I appreciate is quite fit). It also enabled the athlete to remain clear and focused in their communication with their wider support team. It allowed everyone to focus only on what mattered and to eliminate everything that may have been a ‘nice-to-have’, but would have been a distraction.
All we needed to achieve was to get the athlete to a level of performance that gave them a shot at qualifying.
When have you been in a situation like this, when you have talked yourself out of trying, because it seemed too much, too difficult, and too daunting as a task? Are you doing that right now?
What would it take to give yourself a chance?
What would keep the door open, just one more day?
What would you need to do today and tomorrow?
And who can help?
When the day of qualifying came for the athlete, they earned the spot.
To say I was proud would be a ridiculous understatement.
It worked.
Small, consistent steps every day.
And one phrase as a reminder, that you can always quit tomorrow… :)
So, go and give yourself a chance.
*3Cs...
Key Points:
Ambition and doubt are two sides of the same coin.
When the task or goal seems too daunting, look for the smallest step you can take.
You can always quit tomorrow.
Reflective questions:
What is an ambition or a goal that scares you a little?
What step could you take today?
Who can support you? How?
