Kermit is still alive and well in my voice; I’m looking for ideas, and I am a day late posting this blog. I have been looking for ideas for this week’s blog for a few days. But as with many things, when we try too hard, nothing seems to work. That was certainly true this week, as I was trying to find a good topic and a few other things. Good times.
Instead of making something up, I decided today to write about what I do when I find myself in this situation.
In sport, you try all the time. And sometimes you do try too hard, and nothing seems to work. You try to force it, you are holding things too tightly. You hold yourself too tight. I have had many conversations with athletes about this, and, while I was rowing, this happened many times, too. I wanted to force the balance of the boat (this is never a good idea), I tried to force the speed of the boat (slightly more promise of success, but only marginally), and I might have occasionally wanted to force my perspective onto my teammates (no chance). Lessons learnt.
When you’re rowing, you want to accelerate the boat and then do your very best not to slow it down. So you aim to guide the boat along and not interfere with the boat's run once you have it moving along nicely. Every bit of unnecessary tension interferes. One of my teammates, still a very good friend of mine now, will look at me occasionally and say, ‘I know those shoulders, come one, relax…’ and I laugh, because she does know those shoulders and she can tell when I am tense, because my shoulders will be tense and she has spent the most time out of anyone I know looking at my shoulders (= read, she sat behind me in the boat, for probably thousands of kilometers).
So, the more you relax, the easier the boat maintains its run, the easier it is for you to maintain the flow. When I was coaching school kids, I would often say, ‘More Elsa…’ (this is a reference to Frozen… ‘Let it go…’). It would usually make the kids laugh, and there is no way to hold tension when you are laughing, so this actually works very well.
As so many things I learned in sport, this applies in other contexts, too. Sometimes I try too hard and need to have a bit more Elsa myself. Case in point: this blog. I tried way too hard to figure out a topic.
But there are a few things that help.
Laugh. Easier said than done if you’re getting frustrated. But it does help release some tension. It is very difficult to stay all tight in your shoulders when you are having a proper laugh. So I would recommend finding someone to laugh with about the situation, or, alternatively, other sources of humour: books, videos, jokes, etc.
Exercise. To no one’s surprise, exercise helps me get out of my head and often good ideas will come while I run or do any other kind of exercise. Doesn’t always work, but even if it doesn’t, at least now you’ve exercised. Seems like a win anyway.
Art. Occasionally, I love to look at art. Paintings, photography, sculptures, architecture, poetry, etc., again, it gets me to think about different things and helps to look at the situation from a different perspective. Or it just serves as a distraction, which might be all that is needed.
Conversations. A good conversation usually helps. You might need to pick carefully who you talk to, but I find that often a good chat will help me relax and release the tension of trying too hard.
Begin again. Try again. Just more relaxed. One of my favourite little poems is this one here:
The trick is to always try.
Collect the tries
like trophies
and you will
never lose.
(apologies, I do not remember who wrote this - but I like it.)
There we are… we got there in the end. That is enough from me and my search for a good blog topic this week :) Thank you for reading my little ponderings. Always appreciate you taking the time.
Much love
Key points:
Sometimes we try too hard.
Usually letting go of a bit of tension helps.
And when that’s done, try again.
Reflective questions:
When have you last tried too hard?
What helps you relay and shift your perspective when you do?
How many trophies have you collected this week?
