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To Plan or not to Plan...

… that is the question. Or is it? Is it a question at all? As someone who works in sport, where training, performances and life around those are planned in four-year cycles and as someone who has lived that life as an athlete, I am quite obviously biased towards living a life that includes planning. I planned as a teacher too, because, in my view, it is impossible to get the best out of people, if you have no idea of where you want them to get to and what you want them to learn along the way. ...

End-of-year Reflection

What a year! I was thinking about everything that happened in 2024 and everything I did this year, and a lot was going on. Interestingly, they were all quite different things. ‘Will be good to sit down and reflect on all that properly,’ I thought. The time between Christmas and New Year’s sort of lends itself to this kind of reflection. If you are not too tied up with family visits and festivities, that is. Most people have some sort of break over Christmas, whether it’s Summer or W...

Your Window of Tolerance

It’s usually something small. Something that normally wouldn’t bother you. But all of a sudden that small thing pushes you over the edge. Maybe you forgot to buy milk at the supermarket. The one thing you went there for in the first place. Maybe you missed the bus to work. Maybe you dropped and broke a glass. Maybe your flight was cancelled. Maybe you stubbed your toe. Or maybe you are gutted that you can’t hang out with your friends tonight. All little things. All things that are a l...

The ocean between us

Some moments change your perspective forever. I experienced one of those at a conference once. I like going to conferences, mainly because I like learning. The trouble is, usually those events are packed with interesting speakers and topics and you constantly feel like you might be missing out on something. Now, I just look for one or two things (ideas, perspectives, strategies, tools, activities, etc.) that I can use in my practice within a week. If I use it within seven days of learning about ...

WIN - WIN

‘Are you winning?’ one of my colleagues asks me, and I am so perplexed, I have to ask, ‘I’m sorry, what?!’ ‘Are you winning,’ my colleague repeats, and I think, ‘Ohh, you did actually say that.’ And I reply, ‘Yeah…, I think I am, yeah…’ - and I think, ‘Wow Tina, could you sound any more convincing…?!’ I’ve come across a few coaches who ask their teams to spell ‘fun’ right before a game or a race and the team chants back, ‘W - I - N’, and you have pr...

Structure creates freedom

For most of us, it starts well before we become aware of it: We live our lives in some sort of structure. Our parents structure our days, later daycare, primary and high school have specific structures and if we were involved in any after-school activities, they usually happened at particular times and in certain locations. So from a young age, many of us operate in some kind of structure. You have probably had moments where you wanted to rebel against one of those. Maybe you stayed out lon...

You get what you tolerate

I like language. I like playing with it. I enjoy playing with words, with sounds and with repetition. I like dad jokes. And I like it when language is simple. One of my favourite things is short phrases that capture the essence of a concept or an idea. Phrases like, ‘The Conversation is the Relationship’, ‘Structure creates Freedom’ (more on that soon), or the phrase I want to write about today: ‘You get what you tolerate.’ To me, these phrases capture the core of an idea or con...

The Conversation is the Relationship

As a young athlete, I thought I needed to be friends with my teammates. I was friendly with everyone, but I struggled with the idea of having to establish close friendships with them all. How was I supposed to make this work? It took me a while, but eventually, I realised that what teams need is not necessarily friendship (though it is a nice bonus when that happens), but trust and respect. And to build those, you need time and patience. And you need conversations.Years later, working as a ...

TEDx Nelson

Speaking at TEDx Nelson was an opportunity to tell our story and share what we’ve learned about emotions and their role in creating true connections.Download the workbook....